No Smoking Day 1.5

So, I've attempted this blogging this before, without much success. I realized I'm actually a private person, and don't like putting it all out there for the world to see. I realized though that I've tried this quitting smoking thing a million times before and get nowhere.

I figured this might be a good outlet to get it out of my system without driving all the people in my life crazy. They've all heard this a million times, have been proud of me the times I've managed to not smoke and been disappointed everytime I light up again. This time I want it to be different though.

I will be 29 in three weeks, and realized that I started smoking when I was 15 years old. How disgusting is that?!? What the heck was I thinking? Following the peer pressure really worked out for me, let me tell you. My teeth could use a good bleaching regime, I turn off some really cute guys I'd like to date, always have a lingering smell of smoke somewhere and need to catch my breath when running or working out, even at a moderate pace. Pretty much, I'm super speeding my aging, which seems to be happening fast enough on it's own. I hear all the time that I don't look like a smoker, or that I'm too pretty to smoke, etc. I know one day it really is going to catch up with me and my skin will tell all the stories of my disgusting habit.

My father used to smoke when I was younger, and has told me the craving never really goes away. You just have to learn ways to deal with them when they happen. I'm down to do this, I just hope eating doens't become my outlet. Last time I quit was year and a half ago, for two months. I actually lost weight because I was running all of the time, which isn't something I'm normally able to do. I think I will start doing that again.

My last cigarette was Saturday, May 21 at 10 p.m. Currently, it is May 23 at 1:51 p.m. I would really like a cigarette right now, but decided to start this blog instead. I get off work at 5:45 p.m. and have a class to go to directly after that. I purposely left my wallet at home today, so that I couldn't stop and buy cigarettes. Hopefully I will be strong enough not to bum one from somebody I might pass.

I recognize that there is always an excuse to use as to why I can't quit. Finals, parties, vacations, etc...I'm sick of the excuses! I want to be healthy, for me...no one else. I've quit for other people before, which always makes you resent them and ultimately start back. I'm single now, and want to do this for me! To be happy, healthy and smoke free. That is my goal, and this is my outlet during the process.